It was a cold 29 degree Friday night in October in a small town in Wisconsin. There was a light rain falling, which makes for an icy coating on everything from the trees to cars to sidewalks and roads. It had been another horrendous day in my life. I had sold my business to a man who had run it into the ground, and run off all the customers, made a mess of things, and walked away from it, leaving me to try and fix it. Ever since my restaurant business had failed I had struggled with life.
My wife Dawn and I were left with tens of thousands of dollars in debt, including suppliers, creditors and the IRS. In fact the IRS was now taking money from our bank account leaving us completely broke. There was no money for groceries or gas for the car. It looked like it was over for us. I felt like a total failure, my marriage was under attack and struggling. My two children could tell things were not right. At that point I just broke. I felt no one needed a failure like me, what good was I to my family, they would be better off without me. So, I made a plan. I would take my motorcycle out on an icy winding road and run into a tree and make it look like an accident. I had a small life insurance policy, and my family would be better off without me. This is exactly how the devil works in people’s lives to try and destroy them.
I hopped on my old motorcycle and headed for that country road. I was going 40 MPH when I saw a large old tree. I thought to myself, that is perfect, but when I tried to turn the handlebars, the bike wouldn’t turn. It just continued following the road. Even though there was a slick covering of ice on the road, the wheels wouldn’t slip, and the bike wouldn’t turn. I rolled on the throttle and took the bike up to 60 MPH. I saw another tree I could hit and end all my pain, but the bike wouldn’t turn and the wheels just remained tight to the ice-covered road! Now I was getting desperate. This seemed like an easy plan, but it wasn’t working. In my desperation, I rolled on the throttle until I was going 80 MPH on this icy road. When the next tree appeared, I put all my strength into turning the bike into it, but to no avail. The bike just followed the road like it was on rails!
I came to an old country bar and went in and had a beer. I sat there just dumbfounded and thought to myself “I can’t do anything right, I can’t even kill myself”. I finished my beer and rode the eight miles on ice to my home and, went to bed. Saturday morning when I awoke, I was even more distraught. I got dressed and went running out of my house down the street. I wanted to get away from me. I wanted to lose me. I hated me I was just a big failure and no good to anyone. After a few blocks, I was tired and stopped to catch my breath. I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. I drank heavily, and I was very unhealthy. For some reason, I said these words as I looked up to heaven. “God, if Jesus is who people say He is then, I want to know Him”! That my friend is a good prayer. Immediately, a great peace came over me, and I didn’t want to die anymore, I wanted to live. Shortly after that day, my wife and I and our children attended a full gospel church where they preached about Jesus, and I totally surrendered my life and got born again as well as my family. That was thirty-five years ago. God saved me, changed me and called me into the ministry a couple years later.
Bill Max Ferg